imagine;

Nothing is like it used to be.
Everyone has changed.
Everything has changed.
Nothing is the same.

After the accident, I couldn't go back to
the same routine of stuff.
I quit my job.
I quit caring about school.
I quit sugar coating things.
I still haven't hung out with the friends I had
that claimed we should hang out again.
Blah blah blah.

I've found that there are more people that care for themselves.
More people who are just shady as ever.
More two-faced people.

I feel as if I just want to live to the standards,
but I can't be myself without being shot down.
Without someone with a judgmental mind striking me down.

I can't live the way I'd like to live.

I wish it was easier.
I wish life was easier.
I just want to live.
I just want to live.
I just want to live.


I miss Jake so much.
I miss being on the road every weekend,
I miss playing shows and meeting new friends every weekend.


I don't know where I'm going with this.
Seasons change, I guess people do too.

 

Everyone has an aspect of California as amazing.
I'm the kind of kid who doesn't like to be alone all the time.
Every once in a while, I'll have my own thinking time.
California is not the place for that.
I'm stuck with my family (who are crazy)
My dad is always working.
Step mom..
Little brothers and sister...

Yeah, it's not cut out to be what it's cute out to be unless you have a friend
which I don't have one.
Next time, I'm bringing someone else to come with.

I miss my friends.
I miss my girlfriend.
I miss my mom.

Christmas time is soon.
I'm excited.


Get me tickets to this:

With my recent trip to California. I've already seen a lot.
So far, I've seen many different cultures. Hundreds of planes.
Lovers. Watch pissed off people about how they're gonna miss their flight.
Different cultures. Small planes. Medium size planes. Big planes.

I got to ride through clouds.
I got to watch the E! True Hollywood Story on Heath Ledger on the plane.
I got to see the u.s. from a perspective that just put me in awe.

I'm here in Turlock California.
Listening to Fear Before The March Of Flames.
Texting my girlfriend.
Ready for turkey day.

I'm celebrating it this year with my step moms... mom.
They're loaded. The richie people that like to give. 
I sure hope they load my pockets with money. That would be nice.
I've been looking up colleges in Cincinnati for journalism.
It's 2 hours of a time change. So it says 2:31 a.m. on my computer,
but it's only 12:31 a.m. where I am.
It's weird.
It's officially turkey day.
I'm leaving the 2nd of December. Shaun, Siah, and my girlfriend will be there to come get me.
I'm ready.
Only been here for 2 days, already homesick;

Today I slipped off my shoes for the world to inherit and take a walk.

I took a nap and rested while the world dealt with its problems.

I awoke with cold feet wondering if I was ever going to be the same.

Could I ever fill these shoes like I once did.

When I was happy.

Before the weight of the world was just strapped to my back one day.

I remember the days when I could just be me and have a real smile.

Not pretend everything was okay.

Not run through the day being reminded of what I forgot to remember.

I lost the satisfaction of coming home.

I lost the feeling of warmth in my bed.

I just feel the loneliness that fills my eyes when I try to sleep.

I want to go back to when I played in the dirt and could conquer anything.

When the world wasn’t such a heavy burden.

And when we weren’t forced to just grow up.

Falling in love.
it's a great feeling.

we were together for an amount of time before, then we parted ways. We were always close though, and we always had something for each other. We just didn't want to admit to it.
We've come to a realization that we just are in love. I couldn't agree more to the situation. We've been around each other for 2 years. It just took time for us to become what we are and realize what we have.
You're great.
You're gorgeous.
You're just all around my type of girl.
I can be me
and you can be you.
We can tell each other we love each other a good 77 times each day
and not get tired of it.
I love you.
I love you.
I love your laugh.
I love your smile.
I love how were happy together.

Yeah, were young and in love.
But were going to take this on
and were going to love every second of it.


my sugar momma.

I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
no sleep.
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep

why can't I?
Clear my head.
Clear my mind.
Fall in the drowsy state.
Sleep.
Sleep
I can't sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
SLEEP
SLEEP
SLEEP
... can't sleep.

If I do, may I be forgettable.




I've pretty much figured out my life.
I want to travel the country in a van with my best friends.
I want to play to a different crowd every night.
Make new friendships.
See things I've never seen before.
Play the music I enjoy playing.

Spreading the love of Jesus.

Move to Ohio with Britney, my best friend.
Go to school for Journalism and Music Production.
Have a nice apartment.
Not have a crappy job.
Make some awesome friends.
Be the people that wish they were us.

Probably still watch cartoons.
Still picking my nose.
And still not losing my youth.

High like a kite. watching adult swim,
excited for home movies to come on.
missing my best friend.
craving some food.
some chocolate.
listing to the band "your best friend'
if you love them, tell me. 
so we can be best friends.
I saw them last night. they played a really great set.
just look up your best friend in the music section of myspace.
they are the first band on the search from michigan.
just look em up.

I really feel mixed about seeing my friend laying in a casket.
it didn't even look like him. Jake, I'm unsure with whether or not
you're pissed off that they made you look the way you did. 
shoot.

I love you kid. 

Last night was a blast.
Hung out with our bros from For Today.
The most down to earth guys ever. Always have a blast with them.

They really showed me about what I've really been missing out on.
I am a Christain. I don't go to church, cause I feel as if
I'm constantly being judged by church people.
I try to live by the book. I try to keep my life in line and
sometimes you just fall down and need a friend
to help you up.
God is who I've been ignoring. Until last night
I feel so good just hanging out with Mattie, David, Ryan, Brandon, Mike
and the vocalist for Bringing Down Broadway(RIP) (He was selling merch)

What I'm trying to put out there is that, I've lived my life being afraid of
being alone. What I didn't realize was that Jesus Christ is there, everywhere.
He is there for me, and he will never turn his back OR back down.
He is my father, my savior, & my best friend.

if you ever go see For Today and they have a merch guy named Brenton,
ask him to do the spoon or fork trick. He puts the handle of a spoon or fork
all the way up his nose. It's boss.

<3

I'm such an indecisive person.
It's always ruining things for me.
Making me into a "bad" person.

Tonight was a good night.
I wanna quote my good friend Ice Cube
and say "Today was a good day."
Thank you Ice Cube.

. The Lion King.
Massages. Wal Mart.
Lucus. Taco Bell.
Phantom Planet.
Goodbye hugs.




With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

Way out in the water
See it swimmin'

I was swimmin' in the Caribbean
Animals were hiding behind the rocks
Except the little fish
But they told me, he swears
Tryin' to talk to me, coy koi.

Where is my mind?

Way out in the water
See it swimmin' ?

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
If there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?

Oh
With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Oh
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Oh
Oh

This is my first time using this. Thought, "since I like to blog, this would be my site." so I figured, DEAL.


on a note... Obama is the new president. I'm sick of hearing "our country is fucked" and that "Obama is going to get assassinated and he's the anit christ!"
no one is going to get along and agree no matter who is head of the united states, so get over it and quit hating and just go on these next four years. If you don't want him in office that bad VOTE FOR A NEW PRESIDENT AFTER THESE FOUR YEARS ARE UP!